Never in my life have I felt so spooked as I did when it came to weaning Phoenix on to solid foods and it turns out - it's really quite simple.
When it came to whether I was going to breast or bottle feed Phoenix, I always knew I would be in the 'naughty camp' and bottle feed him from day one and I utterly refuse to feel guilty about it.
So I promised you before and after Birth pictures (C Section). As I said in my earlier post, Google 'Pregnant Celebs' and you will find an abundance of them naked and heavily pregnant.
I'm not suggesting for one minute that you get your babies tattooed and don't worry Phoenix doesn't have, 'I love my mum' emblazoned across his chest.
When I became pregnant, I really did not realise just how important parenting groups would be to me or coffee houses for that matter.
Apart from my sister, whom I'm certain is a real life Disney Princess, I don't know any one who has had a 'normal', straight forward birth. I certainly did not. In fact I will go as far to say, that I had an insane birth!
For all our beautiful mother's, who taught us how to love - thank you for showing us where real beauty lives, not in make-up, fake tans and nails but in' just being' . Embracing the feminine. Pure, honest and un-selfish.
One thing I wasn't prepared for was post-partum hair loss! It's bad enough that as soon as you give birth to your bundle of magic, you immediately lose all your own magic and become a leaky hag. No one tells you that the minute you give birth, the pregnancy bloom will...
I wrote the following piece just after I gave birth. I wanted to share it with you because it describes the all consuming magical place that motherhood transported me in to. It's a week and a day since I became a new mum. At 41 years old I went my whole life thinkin...
There are a few things Phoenix and I could not live without. First and foremost his Sleepyhead! We started out getting him the Chicco - 'Next To Me' crib. This little crib was perfect until he was about 4 months old and then he started to roll, so was swiftly moved to...
I started this blog because having been on Cbeebies for 10 years you'd think I'd know a bit about being a mum. But at 42 years old I realise I know nothing! All I know is that my 7 month old son, Phoenix Hudson Callaghan, does not belong to me, he belongs to no one but...
I'm sorry it's been a while since my last blog. I was waiting for The Sunday Times to publish a piece on me and my Prozac addiction.
Since my last blog I have had to go back on Prozac.
I don't ever remember feeling so desperate and I can't even relay to you fully in words, the utter feeling of panic, loneliness and sadness those nights of tears have brought me. It's like the floor has gone from underneath me to reveal a never-ending black hole.
It's over a month now since I last had Prozac and I crave the numbing comfort it offered me most days. I have felt that drug leave me emotionally and physically more acutely than I have let on to the people who care about me. In fact I have felt it more acutely than I really care to admit even to myself.
I once read that the Native American Indians believe: On each day you are reborn...
This is a liberating thought... All those things that haunt you from the past, those things that have affected you adversely – no longer exist. It's like being granted freedom from the negative past that binds you. Today and everyday you are free to start again.
So last time in my blog I chatted a bit about bulimia and societies preoccupation with food. I got an overwhelming response to that particular subject. I promised I'd teach you the secrets I have learned of how to eat like a natural slim person and to help you get rid of all your food demons and I will certainly do my best.
Happy 2013 – It's been over a week now and I've managed to stay Prozac free.
I'm pleased. My restless leg syndrome has definitely got worse. I'm writing this blog at 5am as a result of not being able to sleep because of this ridiculous condition. So clearly Prozac has severely effected my dopamine levels and I suspect my iron levels are low too.
Merry Christmas fellow punks and non punks – hoping your hearts have grown with Christmas joy today. Yes I know, its Christmas day and an unusual day to write a blog, but as its my only day off this festive season, I thought it was as good a time as any to note down how I'm feeling.
I wrote this 2 days a go when I was really quite confused and desperate. I was afraid to publish it straight away as I showed it to 2 of my friends and they both immediately phoned me worried.
It's been nearly 4 weeks now of being on just a 10 mg dose of Prozac. I have never taken this low a dose for such a prolonged period of time in the whole 15 years I've been on the drug. It is making me feel pretty confused and lost. I've had bouts of dizziness and headaches and I seem to be bruising even more easily than I usually do.
Firstly, thank you so much to all of you who read my first ever blog and for all your kind words of encouragement and support and most of all thank you for sharing your stories with me, I cannot tell you how much you have helped me to keep walking down the road that will hopefully lead me back to my soul….. One step at a time.
I am best known as that oh so irritatingly happy happy Cbeebies presenter on Tikkabilla, Higgledy House & Mighty mites. In reality I'm just another 30 something with many skeletons in my closet…. And the biggest skeleton is that I am actually a Punk On Prozac.